Hello

After a pleasant career in the military, I was forced because of politics to end my career and look for something else to do and generate an income. I was quite embarrassed to suddenly leave the profession I had practiced rowing for almost 30 years. I then decided on a position as a manager of an anti-theft unit in the security industry. This was a demanding task and involved long hours. Since I was unhappy at that point about the previous treatment, I tried to prove myself by going above and beyond in my new position. I worked an average of 19-20 hours per day, 7 days a week. There was no longer any semblance of family life, and I also felt I couldn't rest because then I would fail to show I could (do what, I don't even know myself). I no longer paid attention to my family and didn't even provide for their basic needs anymore. My wife had to handle everything herself at home, her workplace, and our child's school. I was so tired later and didn't register anymore that my wife had to force me to just sleep. But the whole time I felt like I wasn't allowed to rest and had to work even harder. In short, I want to summarize that I felt the following: I had no sense of self-preservation, I didn't feel guilty about putting my work before my family, and I was unable to escape this merry-go-round. When I got home again one night after midnight to quickly eat something and maybe get an hour of sleep, I found that my wife had locked the front door. After I knocked her awake, she still refused to open the door for me because she felt that my work was now he my new family. I realized with a shock that she was right and suddenly felt empty and lonely. I then happily decided to quit my job the next day to prove to my family that I had chosen the wrong family. It took me almost 2 months to become myself again through the love of my family and not having a job. I didn't receive counselling or any professional help because my wife and I decided that what happened to me was my inability to make the right decisions after the shock of my military career ending. I didn't process it and soberly analyze it to realize that I couldn't prevent it and had to accept it for what it was. But in my subconscious, I felt I had to prove they were wrong for ending our careers for their own gain. Looking back, the new job wasn't the real enemy in my story. The honest truth is that my spiral into burnout was fueled by something I'd totally neglected to process: the shock and pain of my military career ending. I was essentially trying to outrun that initial trauma, using the new job as a destructive way to prove I was still valuable. My wife locking me out, as painful and drastic as it was, became the emergency brake I desperately needed. It was the shock that forced me to see the destructive path I was on.  It proved to me that sometimes, the only way to save yourself—and the people you love—is to create a drastic separation. You have to physically step away to gain clarity, protect your mental health, and realize your worth isn't measured in hours worked. If you’re feeling that same paralyzing exhaustion, that fear of letting go, I want you to know: I get it. I was lost on that merry-go-round, paralyzed by the fear of failure and the compulsion to perform, and I know exactly what it costs to put a job above your life. Now, I use that hard-won experience to guide others to safety, helping you make those tough choices and draw those vital boundaries before burnout forces your hand. Ready to reroute your life? Let’s talk.